Confusion can lead you to wrong doings

“It was a beautiful weekend, I had no plans but to stay indoors as usual. I received a call from my brother asking me to prepare myself because he will pick me up in two hours. Before I could even respond, he hung up. ‘How rude of him,’ I thought. I did exactly what I was ordered to do hence I was bored at home, so an outing would do.

After two hours my brother arrived accompanied by his friend, which is my ex-boyfriend. ‘I thought you said we are going out, just you and me,’ silently thinking. I jumped in the car and he drove to a place where we could be comfortable to have food and drinks. I was not feeling comfortable at all, I was mumbling, I did not know what to say to him but I kept on talking to Mfana (the brother). You know, no matter how you broke up with a soul, when you meet again you link, it seems as if the love arouse. I could not stop but stare at my-ex, thinking to myself ‘what went wrong, why couldn’t we be together forever?’

After few glasses of Vodka. Andisa and I spoke as if we were still lovers, smiled at each as if it was the first time, and all of a sudden we decided that we will go home together without even consulting Mfana if he was okay with it or not. On our way to his house, I told my brother that I will be sleeping at my ex-boyfriends house. My brother could not believe it. “Mmabatho aren’t you going home?” asked Mfana. ‘No. I am not going home,’ iterated Mmabatho. My brother was shocked, he had never went through such an experiment in his life, and he felt as if he was giving away her sister. He dropped us off with a sad heart, not knowing what to say to us, he felt used and said to him; ‘next time you want to be with my sister, collect her yourself,” and he switched on the engine and left.

We got comfortable in the house not even thinking of him nor how he was feeling where ever he was at that moment. While we were having a pillow talk, we decided to reunite, but at that certain moment and time I was in a relationship with another man. I loved that man, although the relationship with him was complicated in a way that I just had to leave but I couldn’t. I was afraid of loneliness, therefore I held on what was broken. I made a promise to him that I will leave my current man for him.”

I was confused, I clearly did not know what I wanted. I bet emotions were speaking for me.